a funny email

A funny email I got from my sis...she forwarded a copy to us (to show us how highly her IT guy thinks of them) and below is my reply (which, of course, was not actually sent la...)

Hi All,

The New OKI Printers have been installed to replace the old HP Printers. The OKI Printers ( Merc 1 & Merc 2 only ) have been fitted with an extra 500 sheet paper tray (paper tray 2). However, please note that :
1) The paper tray & printer have been aligned and should never be seperated or lifted apart.
2) The manual paper feed accepts only one sheet at a time.
3) The manual paper feed tray MUST NEVER be closed.

I would kindly request for your co-operation, a little self-respect and intergity to at least inform the IT support team of any problems and most importantly how the problem was created.

It is almost impossible for us to troubleshoot or solve the issue if nobody tells us what actually happened or as to why they have to perform certain tasks or actions.

I would also highly appreciate the reporting of breakage, whether accidental or unintentional immediately as to prevent further issues or damage to the printer.

Regards,
AY
IT Dept

Dear Mr Y,

I am immensely indebted to you for guiding me towards the glorious path of IT-enlightenment. My perilious journey through the dark valley of problematic printers issues, has created a fear in me - an irrational fear of feeding paper into the manual feed tray. But your wisdom and powderful insights into the somewhat mysterious world of printers has given me faith! I know there is hope for printer-retards all over the world to conquer this crippling fear of printers as long as your ass is keeping your seat warm with the tit (T**** IT) department.

Your esteemed presence is very welcomed in our humble department. We will demonstrate our ability to feed paper into the OKI printer and perhaps share a few laughs about your mother. You are assured of our utmost co-operation in reporting printer breakage/bondage/lockage/shortage, whether accidental or unintentional or even inadvertently. Those scumbags should never get away with it! Victory is yours oh-mighty-printer-god.

I am not worthy to sit in tit,
xoxo