Today I overheard kongkong's prayer and what he said stirred up a lot of feelings in me, for that few minutes of prayer made me think about the past, about the things he had done for mama. Despite his own diabetic condition, every sentence he uttered was for mama to recover soon, every word came straight from his heart. He even went on to the finer details such as mama's hearing problem. He prayed that she'd regain her hearing abilities fast so that she would be able to hear what the pastor preaches. Little things such as these touched me deeply. Coming from a traditional Chinese background, kongkong is a very conservative man. Rather than display his feelings out in the open, he keeps them to himself, showing them in small and quiet ways instead. A photo they took together a few months back in front of my flat comes to mind. Now, when I look at it, I realise for the very first time that they were holding hands.
Last year in August, mama was discovered to have a tumour in her head. Further tests confirm that the tumour is malignant and had to be operated on immediately to remove it. Our family and relatives visited her on the night before her operation. In all my 15 years, I have never seen kongkong shed a tear, but on that very night, as we gathered around mama's bed to say a prayer for her, I saw from the corner of my eye, a tear trickled down his cheek.
The operation was a success, however the surgeons could not remove the tumour completely due to its position. So, the next sensible step was to start radiation treatment to kill the remaining cancerous cells. Mama had to stay in hospital for a few weeks. During that period, kongkong was there everyday, by her side from morning till night and then taking a bus home alone. When mama was discharged, he took care of her by sorting out her medication, giving her her medication when she needed it, even to the extent of calling my home to remind her to take them. Kongkong was always at mama's beck and call. When she forgot to bring her cream home, she'd get kongkong to come all the way from Jalan Batu to Tampines, just to take the smaller container of beauty product home. Better still, he wouldn't complain, at least not in front of her.
I suppose mama knows how much kongknog goes through, running those errands for her. She would cook lunch for my family and remind him to have lunch at my home and when he's late, she'd wait downstairs for him. Once, kongkong had to go for a medical check-up due to an enlarged prostate gland and we kept mama in the dark, fearing the worst for kongkong and not wanting her to worry. But somehow she came to know about it and called my mum up in the office to make sure that kongkong was all right. My mum said that mama's voice was quivering, which meant that she might have been crying earlier. Later, the maid confirmed that mama had indeed been sobbing.
Like any other married couple, they do quarrel and say things to hurt each other. But it's through these little actions, you know that deep down inside they still care for each other. You don't have to speak eloquently or with an accent to win people's hearts. As the saying goes "actions speak louder than words". I found that the crisis had brought them and us closer together. And I really thank God for giving me two wonderful grandparents from which I can learn one of life's greatest lessons - "for richer or for poorer, through sickness and in health, till death do us part".
I wrote this a decade ago and forgot all about until my mum found the letter in her office when she was clearing her stuff. It was written in the midst of a trial, I can't remember why I wrote it, but I'm glad I did because it brought back a lot of memories. Mama returned to the Lord in Dec 1997. I'm posting it up because it serves as a reminder to me, not to take my loved ones for granted.
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