lau kantang

Recently I embarked on a project to document dear old Uncle Albert's idiosyncrasies at work. Let's just say it's a little "tribute" to my sassy neighbour. Life in Tender is a little less mundane with him around :)

Some background on Uncle Albert…

Uncle Albert is in shape for a man of 58 years. Round. It's a shape too, ain't it? Having been a victim to stroke has left him semi-paralysed on his left side. However, he carries a cheerful disposition despite his condition. Currently battling diabetes, high blood pressure and what-nots, he never fails to entertain my colleagues and I with his excuses for his lapse in keeping to a strict diet.

Albert’s Soundbites…

“Fish head curry is different. Seaside is ok, still can eat.”
~ When asked to give his reason for having meat on his vegetarian Fridays. (Makes you wonder if a cow wanders to the beach…)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Got a lot of nuts and not much chocolate. So it’s not sweet. Still can eat.”
~ The reason he gave for consuming a copious amount of Ferrero Rochers.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I go for physiotherapy. Actually, my sessions are only half an hour, but I usually take about one and a half. Because I go and disturb the grils there la. The Pilipino nurses. Eh, know nurses got advantage, you know?”
~ Why he takes leave on Saturdays.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Incredible bulk: Albert, if the fish is swimming in the sea, it is good for you. But if the fish is swimming in the curry, it is not good for you!

Albert: Ah…but the fish in the curry is not swimming, it is lying down!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Albert: I’m hungry. Do you have anything to eat?
Me: Yups, got some biscuits. Prawn-flavoured, you want?
Al: Ok. Thank you ah.
After finishing the entire pack of 8 biscuits…
Al: Actually your biscuits very salty. I can’t take salty stuff.
Me: Ok, and your fish head curry is not salty la?
Al: I only eat the flesh what. The flesh is not salty!
Me: …

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Besides tickling me with his so-called reasons, Albert has a knack for I-not-sleeping-just-resting-my-eyes-only. He uses different props during the different times of the day. Pictures tell all :) hehe

"Reading" some catalogues

"Studying" the Green Book















Still "studying" the Green Book















"Resting his eyes" after reading some sms-es















"Poring over" some technical data sheet

:)